Institution
by JantoFan
Summary: When the walls between reality and fantasy blur, how much can we really trust what we see around us?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: the Boosh is not mine. And I must admit I have shamelessly ripped this idea off from a mixture of Smallville and Buffy. But not entirely, some of the plot came from my ideas for when I tried to write a novel (which isn't going so well, so I'm going to use it for this instead.)**

**Dedicated to Violence4, because she came up with the same idea but said she wanted to see my version.**

* * *

"Come on, little man, get a move on!"

Vince kicked the snow angrily with his new boots. "I don't see why we have to hurry. It's a nice day."

"You know why, Vince. If we don't collect the new Nabootique stock then Naboo'll turn his back on us."

"Oh come on, Howard, as if that matters!"

"How dare you, sir! I'll have you know last time he turned his back on me it burnt deep, yes sir!"

Vince muttered something which Howard couldn't hear and decided to ignore. He could tell from Vince's tone it wasn't going to be complimentary.

"Keep up Vince!" he snapped.

"Don't yell at me!"

"Stop acting like a bloody child then! Honestly, never mind people mistaking me for your dad, I actually feel like that sometimes!"

Vince let out a shaky breath. "I don't want you to act like my _dad_." he said, horrified.

"Well if you weren't always so childish that wouldn't happen." he sighed, not wanting to fight. "Look, I'm just tired little man, that's all. Let's go."

"No! I'm sick of you treating me like I'm retarded or something! I don't even see why I have to come, I'll see you later!" he turned and stormed off.

"Vince! Vince, wait!"

"Fuck off, Howard!"

"Come on Vince, this is exactly what I'm talking about." Howard grabbed his arm and Vince flinched. "Please don't act like this, you're causing a scene."

"You're the one causing the scene, I'm just trying to get leave." he jerked his arm out of Howard's grip. "Get _off_ me!" he yelled, and turned and ran from Howard.

Into the road.

He never even saw the car that hit him. One minute he was running, the next he was lying on his back in the snow. He frowned, trying to work out why the world had turned upside down. Surely he didn't always see the sky when he looked straight ahead?

"Vince!" he saw Howard falling to his knees beside him. He tried to open his mouth to tell Howard he was ok, but it was like he was frozen. "Oh God, Vince, please tell me you're ok! I'm sorry little man, I'm so sorry, just please be ok." he turned to the group that had formed. "Somebody phone for an ambulance!"

"I've already done it, love." a female voice said soothingly. Howard nodded in thanks, then turned his attention back to Vince.

"I'm here, Vince. I'm here."

Vince suddenly noticed that the snow on the ground near his face was red. Wasn't snow normally white? Or at worst slushy brown. Vince didn't think he'd ever seen red snow before. Then it came to him; the snow wasn't red, that was blood! Was someone hurt? He tried to tell Howard, tried to make him look for the injured person. Why was he just sat next to Vince when someone was potentially bleeding to death?

_Someone's hurt! _He tried to make someone see. How come none of them had noticed the blood? _Someone's hurt, someone's dying…_

…_and why are you all staring at me?_

With almost superhuman effort, he forced his eyes to look down (for some reason he couldn't move his head), and saw his right leg bent and twisted into an angle he was sure it couldn't normally do…

_Oh. It's me. I'm the one who's injured. Howard…_

"Vince. Vince, please talk to me."

A new voice cut across Howard's. "Let me look at him. I'm a doctor."

Vince tried to focus on the man who now knelt down beside him, but he couldn't. he instinctively knew that he didn't want him there though.

"Can you hear me, Vince? Can you hear me?"

There was something almost mocking about his tone, although no-one else reacted. Could no-one else hear it?

"Vince?"

Suddenly, through his disturbingly comfortable haze, Vince felt a sharp pinch on his arm. His eyes darted to the source of the pain just in time to see the stranger stuff a needle back into his pocket. _he's not a doctor!_ Vince realised in horror. Doctors didn't carry syringes around with them. He had to tell someone, had to let someone know what had just happened…

And suddenly pain exploded throughout Vince's entire body, wiping out every thought apart from one.

_Howard…_

He felt the blackness begin to claim him.

"Vince! Vince! Vince, no…"

* * *

"Vince?"

A voice. Not Howard's. Female. A paramedic maybe?

He kept his eyes closed, afraid to move in case he felt the pain burning through him.

"Hello, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" the voice said, and then carried on talking, not waiting for a response. "You'll be getting a visitor today! Howard's coming. That'll be nice, wont it?" Vince frowned in confusion, opening his eyes. She was fixing a drip stand whilst talking, not looking at him. "And I think your mum might be coming too. It'll be nice, last time she brought cake for the staff."

"Mum's coming?" Vince blurted out in shock. The last time he'd seen his mother he'd been 16, and she'd dissowned him for daring to defy her and go to work at the zoo instead of getting an education. She'd told him then she never wanted to see him again...so why was she coming here now? And she'd been here before to visit him...

The woman jumped sharply and stumbled backwards, staring at him. "Sorry! Vince can you hear me?"

"Of course I can hear you. Why wouldn't I be able to?"

"You just sit tight sweetheart, I need to page the doctor. Excuse me." she smiled and hurried out of the room. Vince sat up to try and see out of the door, and then noticed his leg looked perfectly fine. It wasn't in a cast.

Experimentally, he swivelled his foot around and flexed his toes.

Absolutely fine. No pain whatsoever.

_My leg's healed. Mum's coming to see me…_his breathing quickened in shock. _How long have I been unconscious?!_

"Vince?"

He looked round to see a short balding man with a clipboard smiling at him.

"Alright?"

"I think I should be the one to ask you that." he shone a small torch into Vince's eyes. "Is your vision ok?"

"Yeah."

"And can you tell me your name?"

"Vince. Vince Noir."

"And do you know where you are?"

Vince blinked, confused. "In hospital."

He grinned. "Very good, Vince. I'm Dr. Naboo." he noticed Vince smile. "What is it?"

"Sorry, it's nothing. I've got a friend called Naboo, that's all."

The smile on the doctor's face seemed to freeze. "A friend called Naboo?"

"Yeah."

"That would be the one who works in the Nabootique? The shaman."

"Yeah. Do you know him?"

The doctor breathed out slowly, then scribbled something on his clipboard. "This is unexpected." he muttered.

"What is?"

"This is incredible." he paused and looked up at Vince. "You're completely lucid."

"Of course I am. I'm not a simpleton."

"And yet…Vince, do you know what happened to you? Do you know why you're here?"

"I was in a car accident."

The doctor shook his head sadly. "No Vince. No, you weren't."

"Yeah I was. I was out getting stock with Howard and…"

"No, Vince. You weren't getting stock, because you don't work in a shop. You never have."

"But…"

"Vince, this is the Liberty Hope hospital. A mental institution. And you've been my patient here for the past 10 years."

**

* * *

**

Bit of a slow start, this isn't quite how I planned it, but I think it works. I literally have no idea how I'm going to end this though. We shall have to wait and see!

**Also I have no idea if there is a real Liberty Hope hospital. As far as I know I've made it up lol**


	2. Chapter 2

Vince laughed uncertainly. "Um…what?"

"You've been here for ten years."

"No. No, I haven't." Vince jumped out of bed, pulling the canuler from his hand. "You're lying to me."

"I'm not."

"What is this place? Is this Lance Dior? That would be just his style, making me think I was crazy…"

"Vince I know this is hard to accept…"

"Damn right it's hard to accept! I just want to go home, ok? Why am I here? And don't lie to me - tell me the truth."

The doctor smiled sadly. "I can do better than that, Vince. I can show you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince stared in horror at the TV screen. It was him sitting in the corner in a white room, dressed in a straight-jacket. His hair was lank and greasy, his face unnaturally pale.

"Are you sure you want to see this?"

Vince nodded slowly. The doctor hit play and instantly the Vince on the screen started rocking backwards and forwards slightly, his eyes fixed intently on a spot in the corner of the room.

"_Vince, can you hear me?"_

_Vince nodded._

"_Do you know where you are?"_

_The head jerked upwards and he surveyed his surroundings with wide, glazed eyes. All his movements were sharp, almost feral. He shook his head and went back to staring._

"_Vince, where do you live?"_

"_Dalston." came the sullen reply. It sounded like he wasn't used to talking._

"_Vince, do you know who I am?"_

_Again a shake of the head. "Where's Howard?"_

"_I'm right here, Vince." came Howard's voice from off camera._

"_What've you done to me?" Vince croaked again. There came the sound of murmured discussion, and then Howard appeared, crouching down beside Vince._

"_Vince?"_

_Vince's head jerked round, and then he relaxed. "Howard, you came for me!"_

"_I'm right here, little man. It's ok."_

_The younger man jumped up. "Howard, we have to get away! They've kidnapped me!"_

"_Who kidnapped you Vince?"_

_Vince frowned. "I…don't know."_

"_Vince, listen to me, you're not well. They're trying to help you; no-one's kidnapped you."_

"_But they have, Howard! We have to escape, get back to the shop, find Naboo; he'll know what to do!"_

"_Vince, you don't know anyone called Naboo. There is no shop."_

"_No but there is, the Nabootique, and we were working there and I went out and I don't know how I got here. How did I get here? How did __**you **__get here?"_

"_Vince, we're in a hospital. You've been here for years, don't you remember?"_

_Vince moved away from him. "You're lying! They've got you as well!"_

"_No-one's got me, Vince. And no-one's got you. You're ill, Vince."_

"_No! No. I'm not ill, I'm not, they've got you, I have to save you. I always save you, always, and I have to do it now! I have to save you…"_

"_Vince, I don't need saving…"_

"_No!" Vince screwed up his face, eyes tight shut, and began shaking his head. "No! No! I won't listen!"_

"_Vince please!" Howard was crying now. "I hate seeing you like this."_

"_This isn't real, it isn't real, it isn't…I can't…" suddenly his eyes snapped open, face curiously blank. He walked calmly back over to his corner and resumed his rocking motion._

"_Vince? Vince, talk to me sweetheart."_

_A doctor appeared. He crouched down beside Vince and shone a light in his eyes. Vince didn't even respond._

"_He's gone back." he said, sighing and pocketing the torch. "We'll try again next week." he left, and Howard crouched down beside Vince._

"_I've got to go now, little man. But I'll come back, ok?"_

_Nothing._

"_You just focus on getting well." Howard stroked Vince's hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Please get well."_

_Then he left, and only Vince remained, rocking gently in the corner._

The image froze as he hit pause. Vince blinked, rubbing his tearstained face. "That's not me. This is a fake, it has to be."

"Vince, this video was taken at your session last week. It's not a fake."

"It has to be." Vince whispered.

At that moment, a nurse stuck her head around the door. "Doctor. Howard Moon's here to see Vince."

He smiled kindly. "Yes, of course. Send him in. I'll leave you now, Vince."

Vince stared at the TV screen, which still showed him hunched in the corner. He reached out and touched the screen, stroking the grainy image of his face. It couldn't be real. He'd know, he'd remember. This was just another crazy adventure…

…but then why did he feel so horribly alone?

"Hey, Vince. How are you?"

Vince turned and let out a sob of relief. Howard. He got up and flung himself onto the older man, clinging to his neck.

"Vince?"

"Please tell me it's not true. Tell me they're lying!" Vince pulled back and looked desperately into Howard's face. "Tell me it's not real. Please."

"Oh my…" Howard ran a hand gently down Vince's cheek, looking at him in wonder. "You're here. You're really here."

"Tell me it's real, Howard. Tell me the zoo, and the shop, and the flat, and Naboo…tell me it's all real!"

"I'm sorry. It's not real, Vince. It's none of it real."

"No…" Vince screwed his eyes shut, and Howard gripped his arm.

"Don't go back there, Vince, please don't go back there. You have to stay with me, ok?"

Vince nodded. "How did this happen?" he asked softly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You'd always had an overactive imagination. Even when I first met you, you much preferred fantasy. You used to tell me such amazing stories, about growing up in the forests, about an imaginary friend called Charlie…"

"He was genius." Vince smiled.

"I didn't really think much of it. You were just a really creative person…and then it changed."

"How?"

"You were 16. You'd just agreed to drop out of school and come work at the Zooniverse with me."

"I remember." Vince murmured absently. "Mum was furious."

"You turned up crying on my doorstep, told me she'd kicked you out of the house." he shook his head. "You were cold. Much too cold."

Vince remembered. He remembered how Howard had sat him next to the electric heater and wrapped him in a blanket, before making him a hot drink…

"…and then your mum turned up."

Vince frowned. That hadn't happened. "What?"

"She was so worried. Said she didn't mean what she'd said, and she wanted you home." he shook his head, as though the memory was painful. "You were so…angry. You yelled that she was lying, that she'd never loved you like Brian Ferry did and you hated her for taking you away from the forests. I took her out into the kitchen to calm her down, and when I came back you were having a conversation with my cat. It was…I'd never seen that side to you before. You were just sitting there talking like it was the most normal thing in the world. And you genuinely believed it was responding. So we took you here, and they wanted to keep you in for a week for observation. Then that became a month. Then…then they just stopped talking about releasing you. You'd gone too far." his voice dropped low, and Vince was no longer sure if he was talking to him or not. "Maybe it was the lack of colour in the place. Maybe it was my fault."

"But…but we have a life. Friends. That has to be real?"

"It can be. Vince, this is the first real conversation I've had with you in ten years. I've never seen you so…awake." he smiled. "It's going to be alright little man."

_Is it?_

"Could you leave please? I'm tired." Vince said softly. Howard smiled.

"Of course." he stood up and turned to go, then paused and walked back towards Vince, pulling him into a hug. Vince instinctively wrapped his arms around him.

"What was that for?" he asked, smiling slightly.

"You're here. For the first time in ten years, you're here." Howard ran a hand through Vince's hair. "And if you're gone tomorrow, I wanted to have something nice I could remember."

Vince felt his stomach jolt slightly. "Bye Howard."

"Bye, Vince. Sleep well, ok?"

"Yeah."

As soon as he was alone, Vince hurried over to the window and looked out. It looked like he was in a hospital; the view was one from a public building. Vince's heart sank. He'd been hoping to discover he was in a hut or something, far from anywhere. But no. it really was a hospital.

"I can't be crazy…" he muttered, tears welling up in his eyes. "I just can't be." he lay back down on the bed and curled up into a foetal position. "I can't be…"

And, despite the fact that he hadn't really been all that tired, Vince fell asleep.

* * *

He tried to open his eyes against the sudden bright light. Was it morning already? He looked to the side and saw Howard sat in a chair beside him.

"Howard?"

Howard looked up instantly. "Vince. Oh God, you're ok, little man. You're ok."

"Of course I'm ok…" hadn't he only seen him yesterday? "What's happened?"

"You were hit by a car. Oh God, I'm so sorry Vince, I should never have yelled at you, I…"

"Wait, a car?" Vince looked down and felt a lump rise in his throat. "My leg's broken." he whispered.

"The cast won't be on very long." Howard said hurriedly, thinking Vince was upset, "only a couple of months."

"Is Naboo and Bollo here?"

"No, I called them but I think Naboo was too stoned to understand what I was…why are you grinning?"

"It's real. Naboo and the shop and everything…its all real." he sank back into his pillows. "It was just a dream."

"What was?" Howard looked slightly alarmed.

"I woke up in this mental hospital, and the doctor told me I'd been there for ten years!"

"A mental hospital?"

"Yeah! And you were there, and you told me that I'd flipped out at something my mum said and gone into a fantasy world, only the fantasy world was this world, and that there was a normal world where none of it was real…" he trailed off.

"Sounds like a pretty vivid dream, Vince."

"Yeah."

Howard hesitated, then sat down on the bed and pulled Vince into an awkward hug, being careful not to touch any of the equipment.

"What was that for?"

Howard smiled. "Just proving to you I'm real."

Vince grinned back. "You are such a spaz."

"Shut your mouth, sir, or I'll fly at you like a…"

"…ah, you're awake!" a plump, cheerful woman bustled in. "I'm Doctor Cooper."

Vince liked her instantly. "Alright?"

"You've been through the wars, haven't you? Now, the police are here. Did either of you manage to get a look at the number plate of the vehicle?"

"I did." Howard told her. She smiled. "Ok sir, if you'd like to come with me."

Vince grinned as Howard left. It hadn't been real. Of course it hadn't, how could it have been? He'd remember if he was crazy. And besides, you couldn't feel pain in dreams, could you? And he'd been hurt plenty of times…

He looked round as someone walked into the room. Suddenly there was a flash of white light, and he was back in his room at Liberty Hope looking at an orderly.

"Hallo, Vince. It's time for your medication, ok?"

Vince shut his eyes and shook his head. "W-what?" he looked up to see he was back in the normal hospital with a nurse looking at him.

"I said; do you want any pain medication. For the leg." Vince looked down.

"Oh. No, I'm fine."

"Are you ok? You hit your head pretty badly."

"It's fine. Thanks."

He smiled and left the room, leaving Vince alone. The young man breathed out heavily. What the hell had that been? He was completely awake, and yet he'd had a vision of that mental hospital place…

Something wasn't right here. He needed to talk to Naboo.

**

* * *

**

Those people who watch Buffy will know what I mean by the 'flash', and Vince finding himself back there. I hope those that don't will understand it as well, but I can't be sure…


	3. Chapter 3

"A mental institution?" Naboo frowned.

"Yeah. And I thought it was just a dream, y'know? But I've had flashes of that place when I'm awake."

"Are you sure it's not just the dream still lingering?"

"I'm not an idiot, Naboo. It's like…one second I'm here and the next I'm back in that room." he shuddered.

"Could it be from the accident?" Howard asked. Naboo shook his head slowly.

"I don't know. What Vince is describing sounds much too…vivid for a head injury. Usually when I've seen stuff like this they describe it as dream-like, or that time skips or something. What Vince sees…it's as if he's actually gone somewhere else." He glanced at his hands then returned his gaze to Vince. "Did you do anything…unusual? Eat something you shouldn't have, touch…something?"

Vince thought. "No, I don't think so. I remember walking with Howard. And then we argued. And then there was pain…and then I woke up in that place."

Naboo shook his head. "I just don't know. I'll talk to the shaman council; see if they've got any ideas."

"Cheers Naboo." Vince said, looking down at his hands.

"Vince, if this happens again, you need to ignore it, ok? Whatever this is, it isn't real. You know that, yeah?"

"Ok. Ignore it. I can do that."

"Ok. I'll just…"

………………………………....................

….and then there was another flash of white light and Vince found himself back in the mental hospital with Dr. Naboo holding his arm. He tore it away.

"Don't touch me." Vince hissed angrily. The doctor stepped back.

"Vince, I'm trying to help you."

"This isn't real! Naboo's helping me, he told me to ignore everything here."

"Vince, you know that's not true, don't you?" he sighed. "Really think about this Vince. Because your world…there are inconsistencies, aren't there?"

Vince paused, thrown. "What do you mean by that?"

"Your childhood for one, where you grew up. It started off in the forests with Brian Ferry, didn't it? And then you met Howard when you were in your teens and left school to work at the zoo." Vince frowned, and the doctor continued. "But since then…I don't know if it was due to a need to feel closer to someone, but you completely re-wrote your back story, didn't you? The last time I asked you, you said," he flicked through some sheets of paper. "'Howard and me, we've always been together. Always. We grew up together, ever since the first day of infant's school it's just been me and him.'" he looked back up at Vince. "And you even changed how old you were when you started work at the zoo. You actually changed one of the few real memories you still had."

"I didn't." Vince said, although he sounded uncertain.

"Vince, did you go to university?"

"I…yeah, I did fashion and hair design, I…"

"But I thought you quit school at 16 to work in the zoo? How could you get a degree with no GCSEs, Vince?"

"I don't…well, because…I…" Vince gave a groan of frustration and began to hit his forehead repeatedly with the heel of his hand. Instantly, the doctor grabbed his hand and pulled it from his face.

"Vince, you have to relax. You have to calm down or you're going to retreat in there again, ok?"

Vince took a deep breath. "Ok."

"Ok?"

Vince nodded. "Yeah."

"Alright then."

"But I have a life! I _know_ people, I have friends!"

Doctor Naboo looked at him, slightly pityingly. "Vince…would you like to meet these 'friends' of yours?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vince stood on the balcony overlooking the room below. "Who are they?" he asked.

"These are your fellow patients."

Vince turned his head to look at him. "I don't know any of them."

"Don't you?" he gently turned Vince's head so he was looking back down at the people below and pointed at one of them, a slightly plump man sat in a chair and muttering. "Robert Fossil. He was here when you first arrived. He got better for a while, was released back to his family." he turned to look at Vince. "You know, I think you changed your entire fantasy world when he left. After all; without its manager how could the Zooniverse continue?" he sighed heavily. "Only then he relapsed. Came back. You managed to re-write him into your world. Brought him back as a club owner."

"That's not Bob Fossil. I know Bob Fossil."

"You know _your_ Bob Fossil. The names don't necessarily correspond to the faces." he looked back out over the people. "Almost every one of them has played some part in your delusion; whether as a constant figure or as a fleeting bit-part. Sometimes not even as humans." He pointed out several other people. "Precious Lilywhite, Ruby Stone, Joe Lait, Gregg Bailey, Lance Dior…"

"Dior?!"

The doctor smiled. "Lance was an interesting case. You co-existed with him for years without him entering your fantasy world…until he took a bit of a shine to Howard. Then he entered as some sort of copy-cat, intent on stealing everything you have."

"But…no, because what about Bollo? Unless you're going to try and tell me there's a talking ape here somewhere."

"Ah, Bollo. One of your very few original creations. In the zoo days he was a friend, a protector, keeping you safe against anyone who was horrible to you. You could talk to him, of course, because of your gift. And then you left the Zooniverse, but were reluctant to give up your guardian, so he came with you, as Naboo's familiar."

"Yeah, so?"

"But things had to change, didn't they Vince? Since leaving the zoo, it's not you who can talk to animals is it? It's the animals who can speak English. Everyone can understand Bollo now, can't they? And the Crack Fox, people understood him, didn't they?"

"But that was…I dunno, Naboo's magic or something, I…"

"Vince, you're trying to justify something you can't." he said sympathetically.

_No. this can't be happening, this is impossible…_Vince felt his chest tighten and his breath catch. He gasped raggedly, trying to draw air into his lungs.

"Vince! Vince you need to calm down, you're having a panic attack. Just breathe slowly for me, ok?"

Vince ignored him; the desperate need to get air into his lungs was too great.

"Vince, if you don't calm down I'm going to have to sedate you." when Vince still didn't try to control his breathing, he waved over an orderly. "We need to get him sedated. He'll hurt himself."

"Yes sir." as he lent over, Vince got a glimpse of his nametag - Dixon Bainbridge - and then he spotted the syringe in his hand.

_No…_

There was another flash and Vince found himself back in hospital relatives' room. "He injected me!" he blurted out.

Naboo blinked, concerned. "What? Who injected you? Someone at the mental institution?"

"No, after the car accident. Some bloke, said he was a doctor, but he injected something into my arm."

Naboo rounded on Howard. "And you didn't notice?!"

"I was a bit shaken up, Naboo!" Howard protested angrily.

"Whatever. Vince, I'm gonna need a blood sample." he walked out of the room to try and find a needle and blood-bottle.

"Howard…?" Vince asked slowly.

"Yes, little man.

"How old was I when I started work at the zoo?"

Howard frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"Did I go to university?"

"You know you did, Vince. What's going on, are you feeling ok?"

"What happened the night I fell out with my mum? When I turned up at your house because she'd kicked me out?"

Howard frowned, trying to remember. "I don't remember. It was a long time ago."

"She kicked me out because I wanted to work at the zoo instead of taking my GCSEs."

Howard's face cleared. "Oh yeah!"

"But I went to university."

Howard looked at him, concerned. "Of course you did. We talked, and then decided not to drop out and to stick with it. We did GCSEs, went to college, travelled, and went to university. Then after uni I got a job at the zoo, and employed you as my assistant a couple of weeks later."

"How are you older than me?" Vince asked, slightly desperately.

"I got held back, Vince. Listen, what is all this? Is it something to do with this institution place? Do you want me to find Naboo?"

Vince looked at the floor. "No. I'm sorry, Howard, I'm ok."

_Your world…there are inconsistencies, aren't there?_


	4. Chapter 4

Vince glared down at his plaster-cast. Damn leg. He tried to move it experimentally, then winced as a jolt of pain travelled up his calf.

He wanted to get away, he wanted to leave the flat and just think, somewhere where Naboo and Howard and Bollo weren't watching him life a flock of hawks at every second of the day. He was surprised no-one had tried to follow him every time he went for a piss.

It was now five days since the accident. He'd had several more 'flashes', but he'd given up telling the others when he had them. He knew that if he did, Howard would just worry more (and probably blame himself), and Naboo would get even more annoyed that they hadn't managed to figure out the cause yet.

Talking of Naboo…

"Oi, Naboo!" he yelled. After a few minutes, the door to the shaman's room opened and Naboo wondered out.

"What is it?"

"You're a shaman, right?"

"Unless everyone's been playing a horrible trick on me for the past 150 years, yes."

"Could you fix my leg?"

"Fix it?"

"Yeah, y'know, heal the bone."

"I can't do that, Vince. You need to let it heal naturally."

"Oh come on, Naboo, can't you work some of your shaman voodoo?"

"I've told you before, Vince, I can only use my powers for shaman business."

"As if! I've seen you, working your magic to get out of paying tube fair!"

"Don't tell anyone about that."

"That depends on whether you're gonna fix my leg!"

Naboo sighed. "Alright, I'll fix it."

"Cheers Naboo, you're a diamond."

"But you have to promise me you won't go running off. I need to keep an eye on you."

"Ok, fine, whatever."

"And you have to promise you'll tell me when you have one of these hallucinations."

Vince flushed. "How do you know I've been having them still?"

"I didn't. But I figured you'd probably mention it if they'd stopped."

"Oh."

"I know this is hard for you, Vince, but you have to let me help you."

"Ok. Now give me a blast of the magic."

Naboo disappeared back into his bedroom and returned with a small vial of liquid. "Lie down on your bed, then drink this. As long as you don't move, your leg should be healed in about 6 hours."

"Genius!" Vince grabbed his crutches and headed towards the bedroom.

"Oh, Vince?"

"Yeah?"

"I should warn you. This is gonna hurt."

Vince settled himself down on his bed and swallowed the liquid in one. As he waited, he felt a prickling pain spreading up his leg.

"Well that's not so bad." he muttered to himself. "Barely even worth warning me about." the prickling sensation increased. "Ok, ow." Vince muttered. After five minutes, the pain was so intense Vince would happily have chopped off his leg to make it stop. He felt like he was going mad. Why the hell had Naboo agreed to do this?! Vince was so going to get him just as soon as he could walk again…

……………………

And then the pain stopped suddenly. He opened his eyes, knowing that he would find himself back in Liberty Hope. Sure enough, the now familiar white walls looked back at him.

Sighing, Vince got out of bed and walked over to the window. He didn't know what to think anymore. Both worlds felt equally real to him and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

He loved his life at the Nabootique. He loved the colour and the excitement and the people…but then again, what if all that was just in his head? Did he want to stay…or did he want to get better? Could he be happy in this world?

"Vince?"

He turned at the sound of a woman's voice then froze, staring.

"Vince sweetheart." She stepped forwards, arms outstretched.

"Mum." Vince replied coldly, backing away from her embrace. She stopped and he saw tears cloud her eyes.

"How…how are you?" she asked.

"I'm living half my life in a fantasy world, but I don't know which is which. How the fuck do you think I am?"

"Oh baby I'm so sorry." she sat down on a chair dabbing under her eyes with her fingertips, careful not to smudge her makeup. "I really am so sorry; this is all my fault. If I hadn't kicked you out of the house, if I'd just _listened_ instead of insisting I knew best…"

Vince felt a wave of sympathy for the woman sat in front of him. He didn't like this; he hadn't seen his mum in years, let alone cared about her. He'd had countless conversations with her in his head, imagining what he'd say if he saw her again, what she'd say…and in none of them had she cried. He remembered his mother as some hard-nosed bitch, always telling him he'd fail unless he followed the conventional degree/job/wife/kids track in life. Seeing the woman sat there now, that couldn't have been further from the truth.

"Are…you ok?"

She sniffed, hurriedly reaching for a tissue. "Oh I'm fine, love. I'm absolutely fine, don't worry about me." she smiled up at him. "Oh. My beautiful boy…" she breathed. "You don't know how long I've wished to see you like this."

"But you hated me. You hated everything about me, and don't try to tell me that was part of some delusion because that's bullshit."

She hung her head. "I've been a terrible mother, I know that and I'm not proud of it. But when they locked you in here the bottom of my world fell away." she stood up and walked over to him. "I don't care if you spend the rest of your life unemployed in a one-bedroom flat, as long as you're happy and healthy."

Vince blinked back tears, an unexpected rush of love for the woman in front of him making his chest hurt. He'd always been jealous of the closeness Howard had with his family…only now it seemed he could have that as well. There wasn't something wrong with him, some reason people couldn't love him…he could be normal.

"Mum…" he wrapped his arms around her, unable to prevent tears from falling when she wrapped her own arms tightly around him.

"I'm so sorry, Vince, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok." he said quietly. "It's ok, mum."

The door opened suddenly, and Dr. Naboo walked in. "Vince, I was just…oh, hello Diane!"

She smiled. "Hello Mike. How's your wife?"

"Oh, you know. Working hard." he turned to Vince. "Vince, I've been going over your notes, and I'm a little concerned."

"Why?" Diane looked instantly alarmed.

"He's had a few periods of semi-awakening. Which basically means he's been awake and responsive without any conscious knowledge of it."

"You mean…like how he used to be?"

"Exactly. Vince, I'm worried that whatever it was that shocked you out of your delusion has gone, and you're in real danger of slipping back in. I'd like to fly in a specialist to have a look at you."

Vince paused. He thought of the flat.

He thought of the shop.

He thought of his friends.

He thought of Howard. Both of his Howard, and the Howard of this world…

He looked at his mother, who smiled warmly.

He nodded. "Ok. That's fine."

………………………………...

There was another flash of white light. Vince sat up with a gasp, blinking around. He was back in his bedroom, only it was dark now. The pain in his leg had subsided to a gentle throbbing pain, which he felt was a definite improvement.

What had just happened? He looked over at Howard's bed and felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Had he really just agreed to let someone try and keep him in the other world?

Vince found it impossible now to think of that place as his 'delusion'. It seemed too realistic for that…but what did that mean? After all, one of these 'worlds' was a delusion. So therefore if he couldn't think of Liberty Hope as being part of a delusion…where did that leave _this_ world…?

The bedroom door creaked open, and Naboo stuck his head in.

"Alright?" he whispered, careful not to wake Howard. He padded over. "Just came to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine, Naboolio. Cheers. It barely hurts at all now."

"Ok. I'll get the cast of tomorrow morning, ok?"

"Sure."

"Are you sure you're alright? You look a little dazed. Have you had any more hallucinations?"

Vince hesitated for a fraction of a second. "No. No, I haven't. I've not left the room."


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you want anything, Vince?" Howard asked hesitantly. "Cup of tea?"

"I'm not an invalid, Howard." Vince snapped. "I've had the cast off for days now."

Howard shifted nervously. "And the…um…have you been in that hospital again?"

Vince scowled, remembering the long conversation he'd had with his mother only that morning. "No. I haven't been there in days."

Howard sighed and sat down next to him. "Vince, I can tell you're lying to me." he said gently. "I'm just…I'm not sure why you would."

"Well does it matter? What're you gonna do about it anyway? You can't do anything, so just leave me alone, yeah?"

Howard's eyes flashed with hurt and he looked away. "Since when did that make a difference?" he asked softly.

"What?" Vince frowned in irritation. Howard looked back at him.

"Since when did you not talk to me just because I can't help?"

Vince opened his mouth to respond. "I…" he closed it again. "Just leave me alone, Howard."

"Ok, little man." Howard raised his arm as if to touch Vince's shoulder, hovered awkwardly for a few seconds, then dropped it again and walked off.

Vince sighed. He hadn't meant to upset Howard, it was just that he didn't want to discuss it with anyone, least of all him. If the other man knew just how uncertain Vince was about what was real he'd freak out, and Vince didn't want that. He wanted Howard to treat him normally, like he always had done. He wished he'd never mentioned any of it now, he was dealing with it just fine on his own, he didn't _need _Naboo or Howard or Bollo fussing over him and telling him what to do…

It had been nice with his mum that morning. She'd brought photos, which had been fun but also slightly disturbing. It had felt like being shown someone else's life and being expected to remember it all. He wondered whether she'd be gone when he next 'woke up' there, they'd not finished looking through the photo album when Vince had suddenly been back in the flat with Naboo yelling at him to get up. He still wasn't sure how consistent time was between the two worlds. He knew it wasn't quite the same, but his head hurt whenever he tried to work out any pattern to it. Maybe it was better just to let things happen…Vince suddenly gasped in pain and clutched his stomach, heart beating wildly.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Another jolt of pain ran through him, and Vince bit his lip so as not to cry out. The last thing he wanted was Howard running back in here and treating him like he was sick. Vince screwed up his eyes against the pain, and suddenly he could feel hands on him. Maybe Howard had come back in after all…

Vince opened his eyes and was confronted by a man he'd never seen before. Stumbling back in shock, he realised he was back in Liberty Hope.

"Ok Mr. Noir." the man said, stepping forwards and trying to grip his wrist. Vince twisted away from him.

"Who are you? Get off me!"

Dr Naboo hurried forwards and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Vince, please calm down. This is Derek Sampson. He's a doctor, he's going to be looking after you for a while."

"I don't like him." Vince said childishly.

"He's the best, Vince. We've flown him in especially from America, because all we want is for you to get better. Let him examine you, ok?"

"No. I don't want him touching me." Vince knew he was being stupid, but he couldn't help it. He had an instant dislike for this man, and he didn't want him anywhere near him. He'd never felt that before, an instant dislike to someone. Plus there was an uneasy feeling in the back of his mind that told him this man was familiar, and that he should stay away from him.

"Ok. Ok, we'll come back later Vince."

"But Howard's coming later!" Vince protested. He quite liked seeing Howard in this place; he was like a different man. He was still so Howard-ish, but his eyes still had a gleam in them that Vince had forgotten they used to possess, that spark of hope and boundless energy that a combination of bitter disappointments and Vince's bitchy actions had long since extinguished in his own Howard's eyes.

"We'll be done by then. I promise."

"I don't want you to come back. I've changed my mind about the specialist."

Dr Naboo smiled. "Vince, come on now, you know we've got to do…"

…………………………………………………………………………

"Vince?"

Vince jumped, almost shocked to find himself back in the flat. He recovered quickly and looked over, hoping Howard hadn't noticed. "Howard."

"Vince, Naboo wants you."

Vince got up and walked into the shaman's bedroom. "Alright Naboo?"

Naboo looked up at him. He looked tired, and Vince felt a pang of guilt at the realisation that whilst he had been feeling sorry for himself and wishing everyone would leave him alone, Naboo had been missing sleep in order to try and a solution to everything. "We think we know who did this to you. He's a shaman, one of my rivals."

"You have rivals?" Vince asked, amused.

"What I'm not sure of is why he'd want to hurt you. I mean, this doesn't exactly affect me does it?"

"Thanks Naboo. It's nice to know you care."

"So why would he bother?"

Vince shrugged. "That's not the point, Naboo. Can you fix it?" He watched Naboo hopefully, although he wasn't sure which answer would make him happiest.

"Oh yeah, no problem. We've almost got an antidote using the traces in your blood sample."

"Genius." Vince said softly. Naboo shot him a sharp look. "What?"

"Nothing…" Naboo continued to frown at him, concern and confusion in his expression.

"Ok then." Vince turned and began to leave, then paused. Something was gnawing at his mind. "Naboo, this shaman…what's his name?"

"Why?"

Vince put on his most casual tone of voice. "I'm just curious."

"His name's Derek. Derek Sampson."


	6. Chapter 6

"_His name's Derek. Derek Sampson…"_

There it was. The man who'd done this to him. The same man who was treating him in the hospital…only he'd heard that name there first.

So what did that mean?

He'd never heard of him before, Vince was certain of that. So then if he'd heard the name first in Liberty Hope, before Naboo told him…then maybe Liberty Hope…

"Vince? You ok?"

Vince jerked out of his thoughts and blinked at Naboo. "Oh yeah, right. Sorry. Um…what were you saying?"

"Up until recently he was in prison. But seemingly he's made some pretty good contacts, the drugs he dosed you up with are really dark. You'd struggle to find them on the black market even."

"Naboo? Have you ever mentioned him before?"

The shaman frowned. "I don't think so. Why?"

"I recognise the name."

Something flickered in Naboo's eyes, but it was gone before Vince could even process it. "I dunno Vince. Why don't you go and talk to Howard, I need to go and see if they've brewed up the antidote yet."

"Ok…" Vince said, suspiciously. There was something Naboo wasn't telling him, he was sure of it.

"So what's going on?" Howard asked, looking up from the sofa.

"What?"

"Naboo. What did he want? Have they found a cure? Are you going to be ok?"

Vince smiled and sat down next to him. "I'm gonna be fine."

Howard sighed in relief. "You have no idea how worried I've been."

Vince turned his head to face him. "Really?"

"Really. I thought I'd lost you when you had that accident, and then you were seeing things…I was so worried you'd never get better…that you'd…" he trailed off.

"Don't worry Howard. I'll be ok, yeah? I'm gonna get better. I promise." he smiled and stood up again.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm a bit tired. Thought I might have a little sleepy."

Howard smiled affectionately. "Ok, little man."

Vince smiled and walked into the bedroom, but as soon as the door closed the smile faded. It felt so _real_, that was the problem. It all felt so real. How was he supposed to let them take that away from him? He…and then there was another flash and he found himself staring once more at the blank walls of his room at Liberty Hope. He looked up when the door opened, and grinned when he saw Howard being escorted in.

"Hey." he said, standing up.

"Hey yourself." Howard grinned at him. "You look cheerful."

Vince shrugged. "I like seeing you."

"I heard about Dr. Sampson."

Vince's face clouded. "I was a bit stupid…"

"Vince, I'm sure he's seen worse. He's supposed to be the best, you know."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"And if he works out a solution, you'll be able to leave this place! You can go home!"

Vince laughed mirthlessly. "Where exactly is 'home' though, Howard?"

Howard's smile faded slightly. "Well…I don't know. You could stay with me, until you figure something out?"

"I could…stay with you? We'd be flatmates?"

"It would work. We did always plan to live together."

"We did, didn't we?"

"You and me, yeah? We can do all the stuff we planned when we were kids! Go to America, work in a zoo maybe…what?" he trailed off with a confused smile.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you grinning at me like that?"

Vince shook his head, still grinning. "Nothing, it's just…" he laid his hand against Howard's cheek, "you're just like I remember you."

"I've always been like this." Howard said softly. Vince shook his head.

"No. In my…in the other world, you've changed. I broke you…"

Howard kissed his forehead. "You haven't broken anyone, Vince. And it's ok, because this is a second chance, yeah? A chance for us to do everything we dreamed of."

Vince nodded, smiling up at him. "Everything we dreamed."

For a second neither of them said anything, just looked into each other's eyes. Vince felt a spark in the air around them. This was Howard just like he remembered, the adventurer, the dreamer…he still had hope and excitement in his eyes…

"Vince!"

The moment was broken and both men looked round to the door as Dr. Sampson strode in.

"Hi." Vince said uncomfortably. "Look, I'm sorry about before…"

"It doesn't matter." he told him with a smile. "I'm quite used to patients not liking me."

"Do you need to examine me now?"

Dr. Sampson shook his head. "I'm not sure that will be necessary. I've found case studies…there's a possible solution. A cure we could try…"

"What is it?"

"I can show you the studies if you like…"

"Just tell me."

The doctor hesitated. "How much do you want to get better?"

Vince glanced at Howard, who took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'd do anything."

"Good. Because what I'm going to ask you to do, Vince…it's going to be difficult."

"I don't care. Tell me what to do. I'll do whatever it takes."

Dr. Sampson took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "You have to kill your friends."


	7. Chapter 7

Vince looked out of the window of the Starbucks he was sat in, his coffee slowly going cold in front of him. Could he really give all this up? All these people would cease to exist - that woman with the pushchair, trying desperately to control the 5 year old boy at her side who kept trying to run off excitedly; those businessmen hurrying along, newspapers tucked under their arms; the group of girls laughing excitedly and doing stupid impressions and singing; the million and one other people who would walk past him today…they'd all just stop.

Although technically, if this was all in his head they'd stop anyway the second he couldn't see them. But these people…he didn't care about these people. If they didn't exist it wouldn't make any difference to him. But if Naboo or Bollo didn't exist…if Howard didn't exist…

"Vince!"

Vince's head jerked up to see Leroy standing over him.

"Alright Leroy?"

"Where've you been? You missed a killer party last night; I had _three_ girls all over me!"

"Sounds great."

"You gonna be coming out on Saturday then? According to Pete, Alex said that his model cousin and her friends are gonna be there! Imagine that! Models!"

"Yeah. Genius."

For the first time, Leroy seemed to notice something was wrong. "You ok?"

"How do you know what's real?"

Leroy blinked at him. "Well…because it's here, innit? If it wasn't real, you couldn't see it."

"But…what if you could see something, but you could see something else which meant it couldn't be there. How would you know which was real?"

Leroy shook his head and sat down opposite him. "You've lost me. Are you high?"

"No! Look…say tomorrow you woke up in a completely different world, and someone told you that all of this," he waved his arm to encompass their surroundings, "was just a…a dream or something. Only then you woke up here and someone told you the _other_ place was a dream. How would you know?"

"I just would."

"But what if you didn't? And what if, say, you had to make the choice to destroy one of those worlds? Which would you pick?"

Leroy frowned. "Well…how would I know either was real?"

"What?"

"Yeah, think about it! Right, who's to say both worlds aren't some crazy dream or drug trip or whatever, and I'm actually from a completely different world altogether! Then it wouldn't matter, coz neither of them's real!" Leroy grinned, looking pleased with himself.

Vince blinked, struggling to try and follow Leroy's logic. "So…what should I do?"

"About what?"

Vince sighed. Leroy could be so slow sometimes. "Doesn't matter." he stood up, abandoning the cold cup of coffee.

"So…you coming on Saturday or what?"

"I dunno. I might have…I might be somewhere else."

"Howard?"

"Hmm? What is it Vince?"

"Do you ever…doesn't matter."

Howard sighed and put down his book. "No, come on. Spit it out."

"Just…do you ever think about what life would be like if we'd done stuff differently?"

"Like what?"

Vince fiddled with his hair. "I dunno. Like…what if we'd made it to America that time. Or what if we'd dropped out of school and joined the zoo instead of staying on?"

"I…suppose. Not much point in thinking about it really though is there?"

"But why not?"

"Well…because you can't change it. No point in thinking about something that's impossible."

"But what if it wasn't impossible? What if you could do it again, have a second chance? Would you take it?"

"I don't know. I mean…sure I have regrets, there's stuff I wish I could do over or do differently, but then I might not have the good stuff in my life."

"How?"

"Well…say we'd got to America. And say that meant we both got signed, but as solo artists. Well, I mean, my life might be more glamorous or I might have more money, but then I wouldn't have you in my life. See?"

"So I'm a good thing in your life?"

Howard frowned, suddenly concerned. "What is all this, Vince? Are you feeling ok?"

Vince sighed. "I'm fine."

"No you're not."

Vince hesitated, unsure as to how much he should say. "What if you're wrong, Howard? What if I really am crazy, and then I take Naboo's antidote and lose any chance of being sane again?"

"Vince, I'm not a hallucination. If you'd imagined me up, why would you let me dress in a way that you hate so much?" he frowned suddenly. "Hold on, I thought you hadn't seen that place in ages?"

Vince flushed. "Um…I…well, I haven't…um…" he trailed off.

"You've been lying to me. And to Naboo…"

"Howard…"

"Vince, how could you be so stupid? God knows what this…drug, whatever the hell it is, is doing to your system! You're supposed to be telling us everything!"

"Why, so you can react like this?!"

"I'm worried about you!"

"No you're not! You're not worried about me; you just want to keep me here!"

The anger drained from Howard's face instantly. "What do you mean, 'keep you here'? Keep you where, Vince?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Keep. You. Where?" Howard repeated, his voice shaking slightly.

Vince shook his head and stood up, walking into the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He stood there for a minute, eyes closed, before walking over to his bedside cabinet and pulling out a notepad and pencil.

He wiped away the tears that had sprung from no-where and began to write. When he'd done, he scanned the list, checking if there was anything he'd missed off. Once he was satisfied, he grabbed his bag and headed out of the room again.

"Where're you going?" Howard asked.

"Out."

"Vince, I really think you should wait for Naboo…"

"I'm fine, Howard. I'm going shopping."

An hour later, Vince slipped quietly into the flat, shoving his purchases into the cupboard. He didn't want the others to see. Not yet.

"Vince? Is that you?"

Howard appeared at the top of the stairs, an expression of complete relief on his face.

"Who else would it be?"

"I've been worried! You were acting weird, and then you left and you weren't answering your phone…"

"Oh. I forgot it."

"Well you're here now." Howard smiled. "Naboo's back. He's got the antidote for you."

Vince's stomach clenched. "Oh. Where is he?"

"He's up here. Why're you just standing in the hallway?"

"I…no reason." Vince glanced nervously at the cupboard and made his way into the sitting room. "Alright guys?"

"Vince. Hold on." Naboo stood up and walked into his room, returning a few seconds later holding a glass. "Here." Naboo said, thrusting a glass under Vince's nose. The contents was a disgusting browney-green colour and smelled vaguely of vomit.

"What the hell is this?"

"The antidote. Just drink it and everything'll be fine." he smiled.

"Cheers Naboo." Vince took it and smiled nervously. "I think…I'm just gonna go into my room." he hurried into the bedroom and closed the door, sitting down on the bed. He swallowed and looked at the glass in his hand. All he had to do was drink it. Drink it, and everything could go back to normal.

The question was; is that what he wanted?

Everything in the other world was so…perfect. He had his mum, he had Howard, he had a future. Here he was going nowhere, he only had friends so long as he kept up with all the fashions…but he had the Howard he'd grown up with.

Vince looked over to Howard's side of the room. If he drunk this stuff, he and Howard would be fine. But if he didn't…Could he do it? Could he actually leave him? Could he _kill_ him? Vince didn't even like killing spiders he found in the bath, let alone another person…

_It wouldn't __**be**__ killing him though, would it? He's not real. They're none of them real…_

"Shut up brain cell." Vince murmured.

He looked back to the glass in his hand and came to a decision. This was either going to be the best thing he'd ever done, or the biggest mistake of his life.

……

I have about three different endings for this fic coz I keep changing my mind! Will hopefully be able to make up my mind and post the last chapter soon!


	8. Chapter 8

Vince walked out of the bedroom and dumped the glass in the kitchen. Turning, he almost walked into Naboo.

"Hey Vince, you alright?"

"Yeah, cheers Naboo. Where's Howard?"

"He's gone out. Something to do with Lester. You drank it? All of it?"

"Mmhmm."

Naboo nodded "Good. I've been worried about you these past few days Vince, you seemed…distant. But everything's fine now though, yeah? You don't feel connected to Liberty Hope hospital or anything?"

"Nope, I think it's all gone. Although actually…I'm feeling sorta sick right now." Vince told him.

Something flashed across Naboo's face, but it was gone before Vince could really register it. The shaman smiled kindly. "Ok, well I can give you something for that. Come on."

Vince bit his lip, then followed Naboo into his room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Anyone in?" Howard called.

"Hey Howard."

Howard jumped, noticing Vince sat on the sofa. "Christ, Vince, you nearly gave me a heart attack. What're you doing sitting in the dark?"

Vince shrugged. "Couldn't be bothered to get up." He smiled. "Drink, Howard? Cup of tea?"

Howard shook his head and sniffed suddenly, wrinkling up his nose. "God, did Naboo spill something? What's that smell?"

"That would be petrol." Vince said calmly.

It took Howard several seconds to process that. "Petrol? Why is there petrol in the flat?"

"Are you sure you don't want a drink? Doesn't have to be tea, I can do whatever. A latte maybe?"

"Positive. Vince, why is there petrol in the flat?" Vince turned to look at him, and Howard took an involuntary step backwards. There was something in the younger man's eyes… "Vince?"

Vince got up and walked towards him. "I need this." Vince smiled a little desperately, and something that looked a lot like fear passed across the older man's face. "A fresh start. A normal life."

"What're you talking about, Vince?" He gasped. "Oh God, you didn't drink that antidote, did you?"

Vince ignored him "A life where I haven't screwed everything up."

"You haven't screwed everything up, Vince."

"I appreciate you trying, Howard. But, see, I know what this is now. You're the part of my brain which doesn't want to be normal. The part that loves it here."

"Listen to that part, Vince." Howard insisted, fumbling in his pocket trying to find his phone. "You're not crazy, this isn't a dream, I _promise_."

"You're lying to me!" Vince snapped, anger suddenly blazing across his face. "Because what sounds more real to you, Howard? A man who's loved by literally everyone he meets, who can talk to animals, who lives with a talking gorilla and a shaman. A world where stuff happens like…like a human being able to be shrunk down and injected into someone's blood stream. Or like being able to get a taxi to _hell _to rescue your _dead _friend _and bring him back to life_. Or where the moon, a giant ball of rock which is _millions _of miles away, can have a conversation with _individual _humans. Ok that's scenario one. Or there's scenario two, which is that I'm sick and in a mental institution. Which sounds more realistic?"

"Vince listen to what you're saying."

"You're keeping me here. All of you, you're the reason I can't get better."

"Vince, listen to me. You're sick, ok, I get that. Maybe I should have noticed sooner, but it's ok. We'll get Naboo, and then he can get you another antidote, yeah?" Howard smiled anxiously.

Vince ignored him again. _**Don't listen. Don't look at him. If I don't look at him it isn't real.**_

_**I want to go home**__._

"But I know what I have to do now, see; the doctor explained it to me. If I get rid off you, Naboo, and Bollo; I'll have nothing to keep me coming back here. I'll have nothing to want to stay for." he paused and looked up at Howard, and a slightly pained look crossed his pale face. "So that's what petrol's doing in the flat, Howard. I need to get rid of you all."

Howard turned to run; too late…Vince darted forwards and hit him as hard as he could with the fire extinguisher he'd taken from the shop. Howard crumpled like a rag doll and lay still.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Howard opened his eyes blearily and he shifted. Vince felt the movement and looked up from where he was taping Howard's ankles together. He watched the older man's eyes as they scanned the room, widening in horror when he spotted the unconscious figures of Naboo and Bollo.

"Vince…what did you do?!"

"They're unconscious. I drugged them."

"Vince, listen to me…"

"I wish you'd let me drug you too, Howard." Vince said sadly. "I didn't want you to be awake for this."

"Vince please." Howard's voice shook with barely controlled fear. "Vince just untie me, yeah? We can get you help…"

"This **will **help." Vince whispered. He tore off a strip of duct tape and stuck it over Howard's mouth. "It won't hurt. You're not real." he reached out and gently touched Howard's cheek with his fingers, dislodging the tears from his eyelids. "You're not real. You're not."

He stood up and walked out of the bedroom. Pausing in the doorway, he glanced back. Howard was watching him with wide, frightened eyes. He shook his head desperately at Vince.

Vince wiped tears out of his eyes and walked down the hall. "They're not real." he repeated to himself. "It's not killing them, because they're not real." he walked into Naboo's room. The smell of petrol was less strong in here, Vince taking a chance that at least some of Naboo's potions would be flammable. Fingers shaking slightly, he pulled a yellow plastic lighter from his pocket, flipped the flame on, and dropped it onto the accelerant soaked carpet.

The effect was instantaneous.

Vince watched for a moment, then turned and ran from the flickering flames out into the hall and to the front door. He hesitated, turning back. Already he could see the flames beginning to lick at the doorway to Naboo's room; smoke curling towards him. He turned and fled again, hearing the smoke alarm suddenly burst into life behind him. He ran straight into the back garden, gasping as the night air bit his skin, then crawled under a hedge and curled his legs up to his chest.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real." he repeated desperately. He squeezed his eyes shut. "It's not real, it's not real."

He jumped violently when he felt a hand on his arm, and looked up into Howard's face. He was back in Liberty Hope.

"It's ok, Vince. Whatever's happening, you're safe."

"I can't do this." Vince said desperately.

Diane crouched down next to him "You can, baby. I know you can."

There was a flash of white light and Vince was suddenly back in the garden again. Thick, acrid smoke was seeping from somewhere - clearly Naboo's potions didn't react well to fire. He felt his heart give a sudden lurch of terror as he saw the flames licking at one of the upstairs windows. Which one? Surely it hadn't spread to the bedroom yet? The thought of them burning was almost too much…and then he was back in his hospital room.

"Howard…" Vince whispered, tears streaming down his face.

"It's ok Vince, I'm right here. You're doing great."

"No…not you."

"Vince, he's not real, ok? _I'm_ real. Focus on me, yeah?"

"But they're hurting." Vince whimpered, a single tear running down his face.

"No they're not. They're not real; you're not hurting anyone, little man."

_Little man…_and suddenly Vince's head was filled with memories. He and Howard at the zoo, playing their first gig, going to Xooberon, beating Nanatoo, stuck on that island, crimping, arguing, laughing; together, always together…

"I can't…"

Diane clasped his hand. "Vince, you can. You know what you want to do, yes?"

Vince blinked slowly at her, took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. "Yeah. I want to go home."

She nodded encouragingly. "Then focus on that. Do what you have to do to get what _you_ want."

Vince smiled then, a sad yet beautiful smile. "Ok. I can do that."

"Of course you can. You're my brave boy."

Vince squeezed her hand. "I'll miss you."

The smile slowly faded and she frowned in confusion. "What? Vince, what do you mean? I'm right here. Vince?"

Howard's face flooded with horror. "Vince…" he said warningly, tears beginning to form. "No. They're not real, Vince, they're not real! Vince, stay with me. You have to stay with me…"

"I'm sorry." Vince whispered, laying his free hand on Howard's cheek.

Howard shook his head. "No. No, Vince, please."

"I love you." he whispered, then screwed his eyes shut and thought of the flat and the shop and Naboo and Bollo and Howard…and when he opened his eyes he was crouched under the hedge in the garden once more. With a choked sob, he got up and ran towards the house. Tearing open the door he recoiled at the rush of heat that rushed out to greet him. Vince gritted his teeth and ran back into the building, ignoring the heat searing his skin and the crackling of the flames above him. Bursting into the flat he cursed, choking. The fire had taken full hold now; flames engulfed the room entirely. The curtains were blackened and singed, small flames beginning to climb up towards the top of the window. The paper on the wall blackened, blistered and smouldered.

"Howard!" he coughed heavily. "Howard! Naboo!"

"Mmph!"

_Was that Howard? Please God let him be ok…_Weak with relief, Vince staggered towards the bedroom. Through the smoke and the flames he could see the outlines of his friends lying on the floor.

None of them were moving.

Vince started forwards desperately but was driven back by the flames licking their way up the doorframe, scorching the paint. He coughed again, struggling to keep his eyes open against the stinging smoke. He drew in a deep breath, desperate for oxygen, almost screaming with pain as the scalding hot smoke invaded his lungs. He started forwards again but his foot caught on something and he fell.

_No!_ He dropped to his knees coughing and struggled to get up again, but he couldn't breath. _No! Howard…_

"Naboo!"

Vince looked round in confusion for the source of the voices. He thought he could hear people running.

_I'm hallucinating. I'm going to die._ He suddenly felt so tired… _No…Howard… _he could feel nothing but the heat and the pain. Forcing his eyes open, he thought he saw a figure through the smoke but before he could focus on it, darkness claimed him.

"What're we going to tell people? About how the fire started?"

Vince frowned as he heard the voice as if through fog. He was lying down somewhere, in a bed. So he wasn't dead then? But where was he? Liberty Hope?

"Dennis has taken care of it. You can't even tell there was a fire, no-one remembers a fire, and no-one needs to know any different."

"About that…I don't understand."

"What's not to understand Howard?"

"Why did the shaman council turn up? They've never come to the flat before."

"I called them, before Vince got to me."

So he was still here then. Vince waited to feel something - relief, disappointment, anything - but he just felt numb.

There was a low whistle. "That's lucky, eh?"

"Luck has nothing to do with it. I called them to help us. I knew what he would do."

There was a long pause. Vince itched to open his eyes, but he had a feeling that this conversation would stop if they knew he was awake, and he kind of wanted to know what was going on.

Eventually Howard spoke again. "You…knew? And you didn't think to stop him?"

"Well…not 'knew' exactly, but I suspected."

"How?"

"The antidote I gave him would have made him forget. Sort of."

"'Sort of' forget?"

"Changed his perception, then. And it hadn't happened to him, so I knew he hadn't taken it."

"Well then why wouldn't you just say something to him? I mean, come on Naboo, its Vince. He's, what, 50 kilos? He's like a stick, what would he have been able to do?" another pause, and when Howard spoke again Vince could almost here a frown in his tone of voice. "There's something else. What aren't you telling me?"

"The drug he was given…it's more than just a hallucinogen. It…alters your brain chemistry, your thought processes. Messes with your logic."

"So?"

"So Vince was…potentially going to go off the rails." he sighed heavily. "I just didn't know it would be this badly. Stupid idiot, why didn't he say something?"

"Oi! Leave him alone." Howard said sharply. "He came back for us, didn't he?"

"We don't know that. He could have just fallen."

"I heard him call my name, Naboo." Howard said, taking Vince's hand. "I heard him call me." Vince felt a hand gently stroke his cheek and felt his heart leap. "He came back to save us."

Vince opened his eyes and Howard smiled at him.

"I'll get someone." Naboo said, sliding off his chair and leaving the room. Howard sat down next to the bed.

"Hey, Vince."

"How…" Vince hissed in pain. "What happened?"

"It might hurt to talk. The doctors say you've burnt your throat."

"Why am I here?"

"You got burnt in the fire. Partial-thickness burns to your hand, superficial thickness to your arm and chest. Plus any internal damage from the smoke and heat."

"Are _you _ok?"

Howard tugged his sleeve down, but not before Vince caught sight of the bandage. "I'm…better than you, lets put it that way." he shook his head. "Why didn't you say something, Vince? How could you have thrown that all away?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Not now. Just concentrate on getting better."

Naboo walked back in. "The doctor's been paged." he reached into his robes and pulled out a flask. "It's the antidote." he explained. "You need to drink it this time."

"Will…it make me forget?" Naboo looked at him blankly. "I was awake. I heard you two talking."

Naboo hesitated. "Not forget, no, not at first, but it will help you to see it for what it was. You'll remember it like you would a vivid story, or a dream. You might actually dream of it from time to time, but it probably won't be anything new so it won't seem real. Then, yes, one day you'll just…forget. It makes it easier, Vince." he said gently.

Vince took the flask and stared at it for a long minute before downing the contents in one, shuddering horribly. "Here." he said weakly, handing it back to Naboo. "It's over."

Naboo hesitated, then nodded. "Ok, Vince."

Vince looked around, frowning as he realised something was missing. Or rather, someone…"Where's Bollo?"

Naboo and Howard exchanged a look. "Um…"

Vince went cold. "Oh God. Please don't tell me I…he's not…is he?"

"No! He's alive; he'll be fine…eventually. He just…he inhaled a lot of smoke. And with his asthma…"

"What did I do?" Vince whispered, staring up at the ceiling. He looked back at Naboo. "Tell him I'm sorry."

"You can tell him yourself when you both get out of here."

Vince nodded. "I don't blame you if you hate me, you know." he said quietly. "I nearly killed you."

Howard exchanged another worried look with Naboo. "Vince, we don't hate you." he told him, "you were ill. You weren't yourself."

"That's no excuse. I was ready to give you all up. I was willing to sacrifice everyone I care about, for…" he tailed off.

Howard took a breath. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"What do you mean?"

He laid hand gently on Vince's arm, careful not to touch the wound dressing. "Vince, you always seemed so happy…"

"I was happy. I _am _happy."

"But then…I know it wasn't technically real, but…what was so brilliant about that world that you wanted to stay? That you wanted to give up everything you've ever known?"

Vince looked at Howard's hand, comfortingly wrapped around his arm. He thought of his mother, how she was with him as a child, and the way she'd looked at him the night he left home. Like he was the worst person on the planet. Like she'd never wanted to see him again. But Howard had been there for him…

He looked up into Howard's concerned face. His warm brown eyes were filled with worry and affection…and with all the pain and weariness of his years spent with Vince. That hopeful, excited spark wasn't there. The dreamer in him had long since departed, and Vince didn't think he could ever bring it back.

There were no second chances.

He sighed, and looked back at the ceiling.

"It doesn't matter."

"_Vince? Vince no! Vince, open your eyes, come back. Please come back…Oh God, somebody help him!"_

"_Vince, come back, I'll be a better mother I swear. I promise I'll be better, just come back to me."_

_Doctor Naboo burst through the door and took in the scene before him, Howard crouched on the floor next to Diane who had her arms wrapped around Vince, who sat silent and unmoving, barely even breathing._

_He swore under his breath and hurried forwards, dropping to his knees and pushing Diane gently back out of the way. "Vince, can you hear me?" he put a hand to Vince's neck, feeling for a pulse. Then he got out his torch and shone it into his eyes. There was no response, he didn't blink. His pupils barely even dilated. "Vince I need you to let me know if you can hear me."_

_There was nothing._

_The doctor sat back on his heels and sighed. "I'm very sorry, Howard. Diane." he looked round at the pair stood near him. "I really am very sorry, but he's completely catatonic. His body's still here, but his mind…isn't. He's gone. Completely. We've lost him."_

"_No!" Howard cried, completely breaking down. "Vince!"_

_Diane's grief seemed beyond words. She took her son's hand and sat next to him again, tears running silently down her cheeks as she looked at him._

"_I'm sorry." The doctor stood up and walked over to Howard, putting an arm around him and allowing the bigger man to cry onto his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."_

_Vince stirred in his sleep, a frown creasing his brow as the words echoed through his brain, before being lost amongst the swirling thoughts and dreams._

_

* * *

_

I think that's the most angsty I've ever ended a story! Fluff wouldn't really have fitted though…*plans to write more fluff*


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